This is the end..Beaauutiful friend

Hola..i'm at it again at 4.50 am. My last day in thironthoram for another 4 months. I shall miss this place for a little while. But i guess life in Chennai will be too fast for it to affect me too much. Whenever doods and dudettes like us go out from this place to those big fancy cities to spend our college lives, we are very quick to tell people about how sucky this place is. How there's no life, no parties, no malls, no McDonalds. I myself have used that last line more times than i can count. I mean, seriously, imagine a place without good ol' McD. Ok I guess I'm digressing.

Anyway, the fact remains that wherever I go, however far away, I'll always yearn to come back to this place, even for a little while. It might be smaller than a Bombay suburb (not, but i like hyperbole), and as lifeless at night as some chicken Jabba the Hutt ate but its still thironthoram (our affectionate name for Thiruvananthapuram). Apart from being the place i was born in (which makes it very awesome), this place has so many quirks and oddities, u cant help but fall in love with it, much like falling for a mongrel stray.

The insanely awesome thattukadas which God put there to help us poor penniless souls fill our stomachs. And you can find guys from any background frequenting them. Noone gives a shit about status here. The fact that u can catch an auto from anywhere and go all the way to the other side of the city for max Rs. 50. The chayakkdas at very random spots all over the city where the tea is to die for. All those beaches so close by that you can go peace out anytime you want. Stuff like that. I guess you have to be mallu to like it.

But the thing which one misses the most are the friends you have here. It doesnt matter which clique or circle you belong to, you will still miss all of em like mad if you go away. Thironthoram frands are special somehow. I happen to have friends everywhere in the country and in other parts of Kerala but hanging out with the guys here feel so much more different. You don't have to pretend to be hep and all that coz they don't really care. Insults fly around like cats in a tornado when I'm with them. They would be enough to send any normal human to the shrink's but somehow it feels alright with these guys.

I'm probably not making much sense but thats how it is. Being a Thironthoram chap entitles you to be nonsensical most of the time. There's no pretensions, no grudges held back. All out fights are frequent but they are settled just as quickly. Even the conservatism is not that bad. Thinking about all the crazy (read shady) stuff which happens in pubs and happening spots in the other metroes, I'm very very glad that this place exists where a certain semblance of normality and morality remains. We are Indians after all with a long history and culture before us. I digress again :( .

I shall leave today. I will be a pseudo pandi by tomorrow. I am rather looking forward to life in insti this sem. But more so because i know this place will still be there at the end of 4 months waiting for me. Always home this shall be :)

Pingu

I quite liked that cartoon..Pingu. I dunno why. I mean it seems quite retarded now. Who wants to watch dumb penguins behaving like humans and failing miserably. But it was cute in its own way. So were the other cartoons. I was little then. A big little boy. Now I am a little big *cough*man*cough*. When did i grow up. No fucking clue. Well that brings us to the question of what being grown up means. Coz if it means acting mature and wise then im still a retarded 7 year old. Bleah :( :( i wanna watch cartoons again. The ones on TV suck now.. I dont really get this Naruto stuff.

Fuck i turned 20 last month..bloody 20. I'm in my twenties now. Middle aged, tired, alone. Gah. Who wants to be alone in their twenties? I dont. My life is unfolding like watching Benjamin Button in reverse. hmmm.that reminds me. Must read the Great Gatsby sometime soon. For a guy who averaged 10 books a month 5 years ago, iv hardly read 5 in the past year. Sure i can blame it on hectic college life and all, but i think its just cos im growing old...too tired to do anything anymore. Old but still so emo man.

Damn my emoness. I so wanna not give a crap but i end up getting angsty about everything. Maybe its just the way i am. A great wise magical sage told me "Shhhheeeddaaapp, i know you" or something like that. Well she was right. I'm still bloody emo. Why does the world do bad things to me. I'm so misunderstood :( aagh. :( :( and all that sort of stuff.

Ok moving on..Deus fucking Ex 3 is coming out next year. I will have many orgasms playing it i'm sure. Deus Ex is the best game i have ever played and i will forever love it. Deus Ex 2 was a bloody disappointment. But i still love it cos it has the words Deus Ex in it *worship*. You non-gamers wont understand me. Noone does (sniff). I must buy a new system. My misguided attempts to stop myself from annihilating all counter-strike playing humans in college resulted in a self imposed non Graphics Card-esque existance. Its a very feeble existance. I'm not liking it much.

But it has helped me focus on other stuff. Which resulted in me learning a Cynic song today. Watte riff baby. Paul Madvisal is the shit. umma i love you.. Ok im rambling. Goodnaight. :)

Inalcanzable Sirena

Yes...here it is ..finally. My first blog post, after three years of procrastination and laziness. I really dont know why i decided to start now. Well i guess peer pressure might have something to do with it. When the laziest friends you have are out there spending sleepless nights writing random blogs, you tend to ask yourself.. why not me. But then i have never been the type to be affected by peer pressure, seeing as im still completely clean (booze and weed free) despite having mouthfuls of pot smoke exhaled in my face (passive stoning rocks :)). Ah anyway i think this might just be an extension of my procrastinationisms. Endsems are in a week and im sleeping 18 hours a day. And now this. Ah well..shit works out i guess..hopefully.

Random changes are happening in my life. Most for the good too. Learning to be a more chilled out person is fun. Must be chilled out for the intern im having in Goa (oh man be envious people). And iv been having strange conversations with my mother. On life, girls and relationships that too. For people who know my mother, that would be quite a stretch to imagine, but it actually happened and i was left feeling a bit WTF and even quite pleasantly surprised at the end of it. Having your own mother offer to hook you up with a girl can be somewhat of an "ermmm uhhhh" situation. All is cool though. Must be part of growing up.

Sad stuff happened this week. This dude who passed out of IIT-M (thats where i pass my time pretending to study) the year before i came committed suicide. He was apparently one of the best quizzers in his time and an all round awesome person to know. Wish i had known him. Im getting freaked out by all these quizzers dying strangely (RIP NDK and Nai). One thing which struck me was quite odd about this was "Schadenfreude". The world is quite a strange place. I had never heard of the word Schadenfreude prior to three weeks ago. Thats when a certain long haired OCD afflicted friend of mine decided to enlighten me upon German origin words in the dictionary. That too in the midst of a cycle ride. Now it keeps popping up everywhere. Nai's last blogpost was titled Schadenfreude. This good friend of mine randomly comes up to me and says "Macha have you heard of Schadenfreude?" WTF. Im rambling.

I got my minor in World Literature. I wanted Economics. Bah. I still dont know what to do after my stint here. I dont think any of us do for that matter, except maybe Mallika and I know Midhun's becoming a TA. Ok i shall go now. Must mug. Even procrastination( its one of my favourite words) has its limits. I shall enlighten the world about those queer thoughts in my head about sphagetti at a later time. Ciao.